Okay so maybe it’s not the worst (remember when drinking bleach was supposed to cure COVID? 🙄), but after spending nearly a decade as an award-winning personal trainer and nutrition and wellness coach, I can confidently say that this advice falls flat for most people and it needs to stop.

You’ve heard it your whole life: “Eat right and exercise.” It’s the go-to advice for not only better health, but happiness and living the "perfect" life.

But here’s the real truth—it’s naive, outdated, unhelpful, and misses the mark entirely.

Keep scrolling to learn why I say that 👇

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1. People Aren’t Stupid—They Already Know This

Everyone knows they’re supposed to eat well and move more. It’s not exactly groundbreaking information. According to the CDC, more than 74% of adults are aware of the importance of what is considered to be "good" nutrition and physical activity.

But here’s where things get sticky: knowing what to do and actually doing it are two very different things. Behavioral scientists call this the “intention-action gap.” It’s not enough to just know what’s healthy—you’ve also got to deal with emotional triggers, stress, ingrained habits, and sometimes even trauma. That’s where the disconnect is.

And let’s face it—when the system itself is designed to get us stuck in cycles of restriction, bingeing, guilt, and failure, it’s no wonder people struggle. The issue isn’t a lack of knowledge; it’s that we’re not addressing the real root causes of why people find it hard to stick to healthy habits in the first place.

💡 Fact: If knowledge alone was enough, everyone would already be eating right and exercising every day. The problem isn’t that we don’t know what’s healthy—it’s that we’re not addressing the emotional, psychological, and systemic factors that keep we stuck.

2. It Disconnects You from Your Body’s Natural Wisdom

Here’s something I saw repeatedly in my time as a personal trainer: people get so fixated on external shoulds, guidelines, and perceived metrics of success (goals, calories, steps, reps, meal plans) that they stop listening to their own bodies. I’ve seen it it over and over again—we've been taught to believe that they can’t trust themselves and need to rely on rigid plans to stay “on track.”

...(except that almost no one can ever actually stay "on track" for very long)

Focusing on metrics like calories and weight might seem helpful, but it actually works against your natural wisdom, and intuition. The more we rely on numbers to guide our choices, the less we hear or trust our own body. This disconnect often leads to confusion and frustration because the external metrics override our internal communication, making it harder to make choices that truly support our well-being.

Our bodies are designed to talk to us, to give us cues for hunger, fullness, rest, movement, how our choices are impacting how we feel—not even to mention all the emotional communication they're constantly providing. Our bodies already know what they need. But when we start relying on numbers and external metrics, we lose touch with our ability to even notice or understand those cues. And that’s where things get complicated.

Research published in Appetite shows that people who rely on external shoulds to guide their eating are more likely to develop disordered eating patterns, and eating disorders. Instead of listening to hunger or fullness, they’re driven by numbers, which can lead to overeating, under-eating, or even bingeing. It’s no wonder so many of us are confused about food and movement.

💡 Truth: Real well-being isn’t about following external rules. It’s about learning to listen to your body, trust its signals, and honor its needs in the moment.

3. Health Isn’t Something You Can Control
 

The whole “eat right and exercise” mantra makes it sound like health is something we can completely control. But that’s just not how it works. Genetics play a massive role in your weight, metabolism, and even how your body processes certain foods.

And that’s just the beginning—factors like trauma, stress, income, and even where you live have more impact on your overall well-being than what’s on your plate. According to the World Health Organization, health is determined by a complex interaction of genetics, lifestyle, environment, and social factors. Social determinants like income, education, and access to healthcare often outweigh diet and exercise when it comes to shaping your health outcomes.

It completely ignores the impact of systemic issues and oppression. For many people, access to healthy food or safe spaces for exercise is limited by where they live or their financial situation. Systemic factors like food deserts, income inequality, and access to healthcare often make it much harder for people to make healthy choices. So, when we hear "eat right and exercise," it ignores the fact that not everyone has the same opportunities to make those choices.

So, while making nurturing and supportive choices can help, they’re only part of the picture. Blaming yourself for not “achieving perfect health” is like blaming a plant for not thriving in a desert. The truth is, the bigger picture is beyond your control.

⚡ Truth bomb: Blaming yourself for not getting perfect results ignores the fact that many aspects of your health are influenced by things outside your control. 

4. It Fuels Guilt, Shame, and Unhealthy Cycles
 

One of the worst things about “eat right and exercise” is how it sets people up to feel guilty when they inevitably “fail.” The truth is, restricting "bad" foods and punishing workout routines are a recipe for failure.

Not to even mention our culture obsession with weight loss. Studies show that 95% of people who lose weight on a diet regain it (and usually even more) within 1-5 years. The constant weight cycling (losing weight, gaining it back, and repeating the cycle) is linked to negative health outcomes like increased risks of eating disorders, depression, anxiety, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and even early death.

💥 Let’s break the cycle: Healthy choices aren’t about following someone else’s ideas about what you should be eating or doing. It’s about rebuilding trust with your body, nourishing it, and learning to consistently make choices that support your overall well-being by understanding what your body is telling you what it uniquely needs in this moment.

But… Don’t Some People Succeed with Diets and Rigid Plans?
 

... you're probably thinking. Sure, there are always exceptions—some people manage to stick to rigid diets and intense workout routines. But that’s a very small percentage of the overall population and it's not typically long term. Studies show that most people don’t maintain these strict habits long-term, and the emotional toll of constantly monitoring food and exercise can be devastating.

I saw and experienced this firsthand during my time in the fitness world. And let me tell you—nearly everyone I met in that industry had a disordered relationship with food and exercise. It’s rampant. Many people who look like the epitome of “health” are often secretly struggling with binge eating, obsessive exercise, or extreme calorie restriction.

It’s easy to assume that someone who looks fit has it all figured out, but looks don’t tell the whole story. Most of these so-called “healthy lifestyle choices” are actually masking serious emotional and psychological struggles with food and body image. I can’t think of a single person I knew or worked with who didn’t have some kind of disordered eating or exercise habit hiding under the surface.

The Bottom Line: A New Way Forward
 

The message of "eat right and exercise" is naive, rigid, guilt-driven, and promotes obedience more than it promotes health. But there’s another way—a way rooted in wholehearted being, where you learn to make choices that support your well-being from a place of love, compassion, and connection to your body’s needs.

The truth is, healthy choices are not about perfection, control, or following someone else’s rules. Instead, it’s about being present, connected, curious, and intentional in each moment.

Here’s how:

Be Present: Instead of constantly thinking about what you "should" be doing, be present in your body. Ask yourself: How do I feel right now? What is my body telling me? When you’re fully present, you can hear your body’s signals, whether it’s hunger, fullness, rest, or movement.

Be Connected: Connection means learning to trust your body again. It’s about rebuilding that relationship with yourself—tuning into what your body is communicating in real-time. This is key to making choices that honor your body’s needs rather than trying to fit into some external ideal.

Be Curious: Curiosity is about approaching your body’s signals with openness and without judgment. What is your body asking for right now? Maybe it’s rest, maybe it’s nourishment, maybe it’s movement. Whatever it is, get curious about how your body is speaking to you in #vD1PMWDSVGthis moment.

Be Intentional: Once you’ve tuned in, it’s about being intentional with your choices. Instead of defaulting to habits or rules, ask yourself: What choice will nurture, support, and honor my body’s needs right now? This means making choices from a place of love, kindness, and self-compassion—whether that’s choosing to eat a meal that feels nourishing, or choosing to rest when you need it.

Wholehearted being means recognizing that you are enough, just as you are, and that your worthiness isn’t tied to your weight, what you eat, or how much you exercise (and your health isn't even entirely determined or defined by those things either).

It’s about loving and valuing yourself enough to prioritize your well-being, and making choices that truly support your mind, body, and emotions—without guilt, shame, or judgment.

So, what can you do instead of following rigid rules? Begin by shutting out the external "shoulds" and start turning inward. Tune in to your own body. Ask yourself what you need in this moment and make intentional choices that honor that. This is how you break free from the "eat right and exercise" mentality and start making choices that support your overall well-being.

Ready to explore what wholehearted choices look like for you? Let’s chat. Whether you’re curious about reconnecting with your body or just tired of being stuck in the same old cycle, I’m here to help you figure out what actually works for you. Shoot me a message, and we’ll take it from there.

Sources:
CDC. Nutrition, Physical Activity, and Obesity: Data, Trends, and Maps. Retrieved from: https://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpao/data-trends-maps/index.html
Bongers, P., Jansen, A. (2016). "Emotional eating and its determinants: A comparison of types of stress." Appetite. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.appet.2016.01.034
Loos, R.J.F., Yeo, G.S.H. (2018). "The genetics of obesity: from discovery to biology." Nature Reviews Genetics. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41576-018-0001-0
Marmot, M., Wilkinson, R. (2005). Social Determinants of Health. World Health Organization. Retrieved from: https://www.who.int/social_determinants/thecommission/finalreport/key_concepts/en/
World Health Organization. (2020). The determinants of health. Retrieved from: https://www.who.int/news-room/questions-and-answers/item/the-determinants-of-health
Mann, T., et al. (2007). "Medicare's search for effective obesity treatments: diets are not the answer." American Psychologist. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.62.3.220
Montani, J.P., Schutz, Y., Dulloo, A.G. (2015). "Dieting and weight cycling as risk factors for cardiometabolic diseases: who is really at risk?" Obesity Reviews. https://doi.org/10.1111/obr.12251